Developing a Meditation Practice

I am helping to organize a 3 day meditation retreat this weekend, so “sitting” is on my mind.

This time of year is an especially wonderful time to sit. The nights are long, it is dark early in the morning, and it is a natural time for slowing down and turning inward. I’ve you’ve ever had any inclination, this is be a good time to start.

My own story sounds a lot like what I hear from my clients. I spent years thinking I “should” meditate. I was sure it would somehow change my life. Yet sitting still even for five minutes was excruciatingly difficult and I’d give up.

Then all of a sudden it was the right time. I had signed up to trek to Machu Picchu – an ancient ruin in the Peruvian Andes. As one of the sacred spots in the world, I got the idea that it would be a good place to meditate. (Match Picchu was wonderful, and it was a great place to sit!)

What was different this time was that I got help. I started with a friend who I knew meditated. I asked her where to start and she gave me a little information and recommended a book. And so I began, starting out with sitting in a corner of my bedroom for 10 minutes at a time.

Right then, out of the blue, a meditation group started at work. One of the engineers at the hospital I worked at volunteered to lead us in a 20 minute meditation each afternoon. I found that sitting with other people was much easier than sitting by myself. I had never sat for 20 minutes before, but doing it with the group made it easy.

Our group didn’t last very long, but soon I found another more permanent group. There are a number of meditation groups that meet weekly. I started sitting Monday nights with the Pacific Zen Center in Santa Rosa.

Now I’m back to sitting on my own most of the time. I sit first thing in the morning, for 20 minutes. I used to sit longer – for 30 minutes – but I developed a bad habit of breaking it short fairly frequently. So now I just sit for the 20 minutes – but I always do the full time.

If you would like to start your own meditation practice, sitting with a group can be a good way to begin. You can find them by checking the local newspaper (sometimes they list with the religious meetings) or local bulletin boards. You could also try googling “meditation” and your location.

Most of my clients prefer to start on their own. All you need is a cushion or chair to sit on and a quiet spot. Sometimes I suggest just sitting in a chair for 5 minutes without doing anything. Just stopping from constant activity can be a start.

There are many ways to meditate – whatever works for you is good enough. I sit crossed-legged on a cushion in a position called “quarter lotus”. It just means that one foot is resting on the calf of my other leg. I rest my hands in my lap.

The most important thing about how you sit is that it is comfortable enough to maintain for however long you are sitting. That means your back is straight, shoulders back, head up. Slouching is actually harder to hold!

Choose something to focus on. Some people use sounds or candles, but I think the most common is breath. One easy way to use breath (and this is what I do) is to count each exhale from 1 to 10, and then start over.

When you count breath breath, you just keep counting up to ten over and over. This is harder than it sounds. You will probably find that you get sidetracked. That is okay – it’s normal. Just bring your attention back to your breath and start over.

You may not think you are doing it right or are very good at it. But being good doesn’t matter. Just doing it at all is good enough. However you do it is good enough. That is the beauty of meditation. It is about showing up. You don’t have to get it “right”.

I hope this inspires you to give it a try. Just now when I googled “how to meditate” I found lots of options, including some YouTube videos. Start small – with just 5 or 10 minutes, and when that gets comfortable you can try for a little longer.

Some people tell me that they don’t notice any difference after meditating. Other people find right away that it calms them and helps them be more focused during their day. Whether or not you feel an immediate impact, meditation is something that changes us.

Give it a try and think of me this weekend as we meditate for three days! I’ll be with my teacher, Joan Sutherland, sitting in Guerneville California. I’m looking forward to three sweet days of silence and stillness.

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Eat well!

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